Thursday, April 15, 2021
Thinking of and sending love to all who loved Terry. Remembering all the good times with all the cousins. Here is a letter I wrote for Terry a few days before he died, slightly adapted now that he is no longer with us. Dear Terry, I think of you all the time, and want you to know that having you as an uncle was one of the most fun things about being a kid. I have so many great memories and I find myself telling stories about these memories often. You were sharp witted and funny, always entertaining and making us kids laugh. You were kind, and you went out of your way to be kind to me when at times I felt shy or insecure. And times with you were always an adventure! We’d be sitting around bored, and you’d suddenly decide we were off for the day to Niagara Falls — I loved those road trips. Really it was about the excuse for all of us to stop at the Anchor Bar and Apple Granny’s to gorge ourselves on buffalo wings. I also learned to appreciate certain things through you that I still appreciate to this day. You definitely influenced my love for certain music and love of great food — I can’t hear Tom Waits or Rickie Lee Jones without thinking of you and our road trips to the cottage, and I have an unusually huge appreciation for hot wings, Genoa salami and crab. Joking aside, your love for food was palpable and you passed that on to me. I always loved it when you’d take us to all your favourite restaurant spots. You were so excited to share these spots and it felt as if we were being let in on the secret for the best food in town. In fact I think we were. I also learned how to take myself and life less seriously and be more spontaneous, to find the humour and fun in things and be willing to just jump in the car and head off on some fun filled day trip. And on the other side I was intrigued to dive deep into the more serious side of life and politics and the human state, and I enjoyed the talks we’d get into about all sorts of ideas. In those conversations it felt like you treated me like a grown up with whom you could share analysis of this or that, and you also made me feel I had important ideas of my own. And as I got older we argued and disagreed about many things! But in a way I felt you helped build in me the foundation for critical thought and the ability and conviction to engage in thoughtful arguments. And believe me, it is a skill I have used a lot! I also remember one of the last arguments we had on politics which got become rather heated and at one point when you were getting quite angry with me for my opinion on some thing or other, I paused and said “can we not disagree and still love each other?” You immediately calmed, looked directly at me and as clearly as could be said, “absolutely, always”. And I felt that and knew it to be true. There are so many more fond memories I have. In the last many years I have not been to Toronto and so there have not been nearly enough times to visit but I am grateful for the visits we did have and that Emma got to meet the Uncle Terry she has, and will continue to, hear stories about for years to come! I love you ❤️ Tasha
